Cooper's Birth Story

Cooper Randall Holden was born in a beautiful water birth at the Midwife’s Place Birth Center in ^r

Bellevue Nebraska on June 23d, 2013 at 8:13 PM on a "super" full moon. His birth story begins about a week prior to his delivery. My in laws were in town helping us move into our new home in Nebraska and had anticipated that Cooper would be born while they were in town if not before. Well Cooper had other plans in mind. I noticed a few weeks before delivery that he was not yet in the optimum delivery position (babies back to mommies belly). He instead seemed to be favoring my right side and would occasionally flip so that he was “sunny side up” or posterior which does not make for a fun delivery for mom.

Knowing this I tried to do everything in my power to get him to flip into a better position. I think it was because of his poor position that he ended up staying in until a little past my due date. The entire week our family was in town I had several bouts of timeable Braxton hicks contractions but nothing that stayed around. Of course about 5 hours after they flew out I started true labor.

So much about this labor was just like the first one which was great because it meant fast and relatively easy. The first contraction came around 10 AM though of course at the time I just chalked it up to a routine Braxton hicks. When I had another one 20 minutes later I still didn’t think much of it. Ryan and I decided to take Allie on a long walk to tour our new neighborhood. Id brought my phone with me “just in case” to time any more contractions. During that walk Ryan and I were fairly certain I was probably in early labor because contractions started coming about every 10 minutes and were harder than normal. !!!!!TMI alert!!!!! Just like the first labor I knew I was in labor for sure when we got back from our walk and I had diarrhea which is a well known sign of impending labor.

I was so excited for every contraction! I would do things to cause them to come and did whatever I could to help each contraction along and bring the baby further down. Id walk swaying to cause them, then Id squat or bounce on the birthing ball through them during these early phases while contractions were still very tolerable.

Around 12 or 1 we set Allie up for lunch and I ate a sandwich (a BLT since it’s what I had for lunch when I was in labor with Allie and it worked so well) and hummus. I bounced on the ball while I ate and rocked my hips to bring on contractions if I hadn’t had one in a while. At this point they were definitely getting more noticeable but nothing too painful.

I had texted my Chiropractor, Dr. Drew to tell him I was in labor and to see if he was available for an adjustment (it was a Sunday so his office wasnt open but he told me to call when I was in labor if I wanted an adjustment). It was very important to me to have a final adjustment during labor because Id had one with my first delivery and I KNEW it made an immediate impact on how fast and easy the delivery went. Plus Cooper was still very much not in an anterior position so I knew my pelvis would need as much room as it could get.

I came home and spoke briefly with Allie's sitter who came by to go over her routine so that when the time came to leave we could just go. At that point it was about 3 oclock and our Doula Dorothy had already planned to meet us that day at 3 to go over our birth plan. During her visit I labored on my hands and knees during contractions and on my birthing ball. Contractions were about 7-8 minutes apart and still quite manageable at this point so we all thought it was going to be several hours still. She left to run some errands and told me to call when I needed her. Around this time I took some Arnica tablets like I had when I was in labor with Allie. This was the only time I took them though as I forgot after that because things got intense so quickly.

After she left Ryan tended to Allie who had skipped a nap and was quite tired already by 5 pm. I went to our bedroom to try to get the last minute items together, make our bed (which was covered in clothes we were in the middle of unpacking) and get the babies things set up (which hadn’t happened yet due to unpacking). Well I made it to the room. For whatever reason once I got upstairs (maybe just climbing them did it) I hit hard labor so none of the things I had intended to accomplish happened. It was about 5 oclock at this point so I asked Ryan to bring me a PB&J and some fruit to eat so I would have enough energy to get through labor. Again I thought I still had at least a few hours to go and I was hoping that I would be able to labor at home long enough for Ryan to get Allie to bed so our sitter wouldn’t have to deal with that.

Instead I realized things were quite intense and fast already and with Ryan tending to Allie I needed help. My back was really beginning to hurt during contractions and having a rub was a necessity. I had gotten to the point that I could no longer speak through my contractions. About 5:30 I realized we were probably going to need to leave soon so I contacted my Doula and our birth photographer  and told them it was definitely time and that they may need to meet us at the birth center instead of my house. I also called the baby sitter, Angel (who really is an Angel!) who rushed to our house. She came upstairs to make the bed and help us get those last minute necessities ready so we could leave.
 

At this point I felt an urgent rush to get to the center. Ryan was trying to do more than I was willing time for so I finally told him “only get our bags together, get Allies stuff ready for Angel, and get the room ready for when the baby comes home. Everything else is going to have to wait.” I was having a few contractions at this point that were double peaking and I really wanted to get off the birthing ball and lie down. I knew that with Allie my contractions didnt double peak, or feel this hard, until I was in transition so I knew subconsciously that a baby was in the very near future though in that exact moment I know that wasn’t my thought process. I know that I wasn’t even thinking about delivery really, just that I felt the overwhelming need to get to the birth center ASAP!

So off we went. After a contraction we headed to the car. I gave Allie a quick goodbye as she sat in her high chair watching Mickey Mouse eating dinner. I felt so guilty leaving her and terrible giving her such a short good bye with no explanation that we were about to come home with something that would forever change her life. Not that she would have any clue what we were saying if we did have time, but I felt so hurried and rushed and not at all prepared to leave her and come back with a sibling for her. But she didn’t scream as we walked out the door at least (though Im certain she did once she realized we were gone but at least I didn’t leave on that note). I left and felt confident she was in great hands and would in fact survive and I had to focus now on the child I was trying to birth.

The car ride was so fast that I only had one contraction when we pulled into the parking lot at 6:30 which was perfect because I had time to get to my room between contractions.  My doula and birth photographer pulled into the birth center parking lot at the exact time we did so we all walked in together. Heather, our midwife, was waiting for us and there was CLEARLY another birth going on in the next room so she would be jumping between rooms during our labors. The poor poor woman in the next room. I felt so bad for her. She just sounded absolutely miserable! I was certain she was about to have that baby as soon as we arrived because she just sounded like she was in that much pain. I asked Heather about it while she was checking the fetal heart rate and she said I was probably further along than she was, she was just vocal.        
                                                                                                   

 After Heather had me on the Doppler through a couple of contractions to make sure Cooper was handling things well she checked to see how dilated I was. She allowed me to stay on my side for the check which I was extremely grateful for and wondered why my hospital nurses couldn’t have done the same thing when I was in labor with Allie. I was 5-6 centimeters.

I was happy with this but was a bit surprised I wasn’t further along. The pain level I was at suggested I was much closer than that. I wasn't miserable but I was at least 8 CM before I felt contractions that intense with Allie. As a doula I should know better than to ever bet ANYTHING on dilation though :) I didn’t have time to be discouraged or harp on it. Contractions were coming strong and fast and I no longer cared how dilated I was, this baby was coming and he was coming fast!

Heather, who didn’t know I was such a fast laborer nor that I was already in transition (Im a quiet laborer too), suggested we get up and walk around and stand for a few contractions to let gravity help move things along. I really just wanted to stay in bed because I handled the pain better that way but I figured it would probably help move things faster. I got up and the next contraction I had I stood hanging on to Ryan while our doula Dorothy rubbed my back and did counter pressure.

The contraction was very long and very intense. I felt the baby come down significantly during the contraction and am pretty convinced I probably dilated 2 full centimeters during that contraction! Standing up during such active labor sucks but it sure is affective! After that contraction I told Dorothy I couldn’t do it standing up again. I laid back down for a few contractions to recover then had to use the bathroom.

I did about 2 or 3 contractions sitting on the toilet which were also more intense but not as bad as standing. At some point while we were in the bathroom Dorothy suggested we change into our swim suits before I hit full transition and it became too difficult. After that we went back to bed to labor some more.

I literally couldn’t have done it without Ryan. He rubbed my back like his life depended on it and was SO reassuring and praising. The man puts my support for my doula clients to shame! He is such a great coach! Things were starting to get really intense with the contractions and I started to feel a bit restless. Around 7:45 I finally asked Dorothy (or maybe she offered) to fill up the birth tub because “I cant do this anymore without some help!” and I knew the warm water would take the edge off.

Finally Ryan and I got into the tub together. He sat behind me and I leaned on him. The contractions were still very intense and got more so after we moved to the tub. I was really unsure of myself and didn’t know what to do but I had this “Ive gotta do something” feeling. Tell tell signs of transition! Of course at the time I wasn’t thinking “Oh this is transition” but everyone kept telling me I was probably very close.

At some point our nurse came in to check on the baby again and I think I asked her 5 times to check my dilation so I could know when it was ok to push. Well in my head I knew why she wouldn’t, I was already in the water. But also she had faith in my ability to know when it was time to push. I have never attended a birth where a woman wasn’t checked and cleared to push before she was “allowed” to push. I knew from all my training that dilation was a very inaccurate measure of when a baby was coming and that mother’s had an undeniable urge to push when the time came, but in the midst of transition I wasn’t thinking of any of that. Just that I didn’t know when to push! Stacy, our nurse, was fabulous though. She just kept saying, if you feel like pushing, then push. I kept telling her I didn’t feel necessarily like I HAD to but I felt like I needed to do something! She suggested to try a little practice push to see if I felt better. Im not sure I ever actually said it, but in my head I kept thinking “I don’t know how much longer I can do this”, another tell tell sign of transition but one so obvious even in the middle of it I knew it meant the baby would be coming soon.

At 7:50 I gave a tiny little push and with that my water broke. After that I lost a bit of my restlessness but still didn’t know if I should push or not. I decided to lean in to the peaks of my contractions and   Finally around 8pm I fully committed to pushing. I did a big push for as long as I was comfortable. I didn’t push the entire contraction but I did feel the baby’s head start to come down.

I gave tiny pushes so that I wasn’t exerting myself but was more comfortable. At some point, probably when it truly was time to push I flipped onto all fours and leaned my upper body against the tub. I had Ryan rubbing my lower back VERY hard. So hard in fact the nurse commented about how tan I was and Ryan said “she wasn’t like that a few minutes ago, that’s how hard Im rubbing her.” Dorothy held my hands, she and Ryan speaking words of praise and encouragement though I tend to block everything out during that point of labor so I don’t remember many specifics other than my own thoughts. In my head I was scared. I had pushed

so long and hard and torn with Allie and I didn’t want to repeat any of those things. But I also knew my baby was probably posterior and all of those things were much more likely. I kept putting off pushing because while it was closer to the urge to push than I had with allie, I still didn’t feel like I HAD to push like other women had described it.

Once I felt his head I knew I could do it. I guess I just needed that first push to convince me that I could do this. About 2 contractions later I felt his head crown and “the ring of fire”, which for me has never been THAT bad. I don’t know that I ever event felt it with Allie. But this time I certainly did. It wasn’t fun but it only stung for a second and then became numb. When I felt him start to crown I stopped pushing. I didn’t want to tear again and I

knew by best chance of that was to let his head crown and stretch things out for a bit. I waited until the next contraction and attempted to slowly push the rest of his head out. During this time Heather asked if I wanted to touch his head. I had done this with Allie when the Dr suggested it and while it was awesome, I didn’t have the energy or desire this time. Itd be cool but I really just wanted his head to be out. The next push was at the end of the contraction but I was determined not to have another contraction so I pushed his body out before the next wave. Because he was posterior I had to actually push fairly hard to get his body out. Allie just slithered right on our after her head, which is how most anterior babies deliver. But I remember distinctly pushing each body part out with Cooper, though it was quick still.

At 8:13 PM my sweet, beautiful son was born! I felt that feeling of instant relief again. No more pushing, no more contractions! The next moment Cooper’s little body floated between my legs towards me. I scooped him up and just stared at his face in shock that I had a son, my second thought was he looks just like Ryan haha. I couldnt believe Id caught my own baby and that we were done! The first thing I said was “we are done buddy, we are done.” I scooped him into my arms and leaned back into Ryan who was crying, I was crying, the baby was crying. It was a beautiful moment. We had done it! We were done, and here was this little life that no one else in the world had ever even touched or held but me. Laying on my chest and no one rushing him away, no fears for his health or life because he was perfect and breathing and healthy. It was such a relief after Allies birth when I never got this moment. I never got to MEET her right after she was born. I didn’t get to spend that time with her. But with my son I was. No one tried to take him to weigh or do any tests. They did his APGARs while he was on my chest. Everything else could wait. In that moment we just stared at each other. Him content to be in my arms, me happy he was here and healthy. The emotions and adrenaline that overtake you after a birth experience like that just cant truly be captured in words. The pictures do a better job. But I can say that it was the best moment of my life tied with his sisters birth. My little boy. My mellow fellow :)

Catching my son

Having attended several births I can say that this look is universal. We did it.

The "famous" photo featured in Birth Without Fear

The beautiful thing about a water birth (aside from the fact that it eases pain and helps during delivery) is that babies born in warm water aren’t shocked by the outside world so they rarely cry. And he didnt cry very much either. Not until several minutes later when he decided he was hungry. He just sat in our arms and stared at us and wimpered a bit. When he began acting hungry (just a few minutes after birth) he latched right on and began to nurse. I knew immediately his latch wasn’t very

First Food :)

good so we kept working on it but the kid didn’t want to stop for a second! I gave him to Ryan so I could deliver the placenta get out of the tub and he was upset the entire time until he was able to nurse again. The afterbirth was quick and easy and it was so cool to see this organ I created from scratch that kept my little man alive and thriving for 10 months!

Bradley OJ

After the delivery the three of us just snuggled in the beautiful king sized bed and Cooper nursed. We had our requisite cup of cold (ahem rather luke warm) OJ toast in honor of the Bradley method (bradley people will get this). At some point Ryan went to pick up subs for us to eat before our doula and photographer left. When he came back all I wanted was the giant cookie and downed a huge cup of sprite. I forgot how thirsty nursing makes you!

After everyone left we just enjoyed our time together. I hadn’t torn (by some miracle) with Cooper so recovery was already going much better! Right after delivery I was able to walk around without really much issue and got dressed by myself. About 3 hours after Cooper was born the poor girl in the other room FINALLY had her baby as well. She must have had some post partum issues because the staff left us alone for quite some time tending to her. About 2 hours later our nurse finally came back in to check on us and

being weighed.

did Coopers hearing test so we could go home. 6 hours after he was born we went home. It was such a surreal feeling taking a baby home without the fuss of a hospital stay and 1000 prerequisites. He was healthy, I was healthy and we were informed via a 2 hour class during my pregnancy what we needed to do during the initial postpartum phase and what to look for to make sure we were both doing well.

After we got home and into bed Cooper FINALLY fell asleep enough to let me put him down. I woke up at some point when I noticed he was grunting with every breath he exhaled. This was about 2 hours after we left the birth center. I wasn’t convinced it was extremely serious as his color was very good and when I awoke him enough he stopped but I wanted to check anyway. I called Heather (who was still at the birth center) and had her listen to his breathing over the phone to see what she thought. She wanted me to bring him back in (since we were only 5 minutes away) and let her check his stats.

I took him by myself because we had already sent the sitter home and Ryan was so hard asleep I wasn’t even sure he heard what Id said at all (come to find out later he didn’t). She checked everything and he was just fine and no longer grunting. I had the hypothesis that I though he might have been hungry again but was to tired to fully awake so was making funny noises. She had me nurse and sit for a little while to make sure he didn’t do it again and sent us home. He only did it one other time after that and as soon as I fed him he stopped. It’s a good thing it wasn’t an emergency though because I called Ryan immediately after she told me Cooper was fine to let him know because I thought he would be worried. I called 3 times and all 3 times he hung up on me! He was so tired bless his heart!

First meeting, sister helping

The next morning we introduced Allie to her new baby brother. We went to go get her out of her crib when she woke up. Ryan held the baby and I got Allie up. I picked her up and she immediately said “BABY!”, petted his head very gently, laughed, kissed him and said “awww”. We took them down stairs and put Cooper in the swing and she very gently pushed the swing to rock him. Then she lost interest and went to go play. But it went much better than we had hopped and is still such a sweet and loving relationship today! She loves her brother and despite our worries that she would be jealous and not handle the transition well, shes done amazingly!

Having Cooper in the birth center was the best decision we have ever made. Im SOOO glad we choose to go there and pushed to get to NE in time for his delivery. It was such a natural experience and I truly don’t think I could have delivered Cooper posterior without complications, without tearing and delivered so quickly had I been encumbered by the unnecessary interventions a hospital would have most likely pushed. Or without the use of the birth tub and all the support my birth team gave. You never hear of a posterior birth going as well as this one did. On top of that many end in csections in hospitals. Im SO very lucky! We love our little boy and he is so perfect! Im so glad we were able to give him such a great start in life! The experience was so wonderful not just for me but for Ryan as well. He enjoyed it as much as I did. It’s so humbling to hear him talk about our birth story to other people. I can tell he is proud of me and is just as invested in our choice to have our children without unnecessary intervention as I am. He is an amazing man and


father.                                                         

Cooper's mark on the birth center hall of fame

                                                                                                                                    
Birth photos by Kandee Lancaster Photography